Publisher: Namco Bandai
After spending a short time in development hell, this ill-conceived reboot of the Splatterhouse franchise was launched with little to no fanfare and there's a good reason for that: The gameplay is terrible.
You'll
spend most of the game fighting the same enemies and using the same
moves over and over and the hit detection is just awful... and yet this
game became one my guilty pleasures, it's kind of like watching a low budget
80's horror movie, the story may be pointless, dialog
bawdy and cheesy but there's blood and guts everywhere and you get to see
some pretty gruesome stuff like having your arm ripped off and then
picking it up, and beating your foes into submission with it, or how
about the part where you ram your arm inside a giant four-legged beast's
anus and pull out it's sphincter from the inside?
This
game is pure schlock and it knows it, making it an enjoyably bad game,
hell, it even goes as far as motivating you to hunt down hidden nude
photos of your girlfriend, Troma would be proud.
The characters and voice acting are all pretty standard stuff with one HUGE
exception: The Mask, voiced by Jim Cummings of
Winnie the Pooh and The Lion King fame and I can't tell you how awesome
it is hearing his constant teases, sex jokes and blood jokes.
Every
once in a while the game tries to mix things up by adding some 2D
platforming sections, but these are hampered by poor physics.
I'm not sure what to rate this game, it certainly isn't what I'd call good, but it is enjoyably so, I guess it should be rated below average.
Trivia: The game comes with the arcade version of the original Splatterhouse as well Splatterhouse 2 and 3, that alone makes it worth a purchase if you ask me.
Pros:
- Blood, guts and nudity reminiscent of 80's horror B-movies
- The mask is voiced by freaking Jim Cummings
Cons:
- Repetitive, questionable hit detection, repetitive, poor enemy variety, repetitive
- 2D platforming sections feel wonky and glitchy due to poor physics, oh and have I mentioned that the game is repetitive?
Pros:
- Blood, guts and nudity reminiscent of 80's horror B-movies
- The mask is voiced by freaking Jim Cummings
Cons:
- Repetitive, questionable hit detection, repetitive, poor enemy variety, repetitive
- 2D platforming sections feel wonky and glitchy due to poor physics, oh and have I mentioned that the game is repetitive?
Final Score: D
Flashy boxart aside there is absolutely nothing interesting about its package... well I guess there's the ad for some Splatterhouse themed Globe sneakers, that's pretty unique if nothing else.
Packaging Score: C
Scariness Rating:
The game may be extremely bloody and feature some interesting creature designs, but in the end, said creatures are the ones getting punched and having their sphincters forcibly removed, not me. So it's not particularly scary, I rate it two screaming Marilyn Monroe's out of a possible five.
Halloween Feel:
If you're the sort of person that fires up old 80's slasher flicks during Halloween then this is the game for you, the talking mask is the sort of guy Freddy Krueger would love to have a beer with. I rate it three and a half Jack´o Lanterns.
haha! cool idea those screaming Marilyns.
ReplyDeleteIts really a shame about the gameplay because I'm pretty sure I'd love this game. Still might enjoy it one day.
It's a hard game to rate, it's a bad game, but it's also an enjoyably bad game.
DeleteAnd it does come with the old-school 2D Splatterhouse trilogy, that alone is a worth a purchase if you ask me
The old-school ones were fantastic. Too bad that this one didn't turn out so good.
ReplyDeleteI have to mention that I like your rating method a lot!
This style of rating is just for Halloween though :P
ReplyDeleteas for the old school games, I agree, they're awesome and they do come included with this game. I wasn't sure if I should include them in the review, but ultimately, I decided that the game should stand on it's own